Bash Compactor:Don't Eat the Cake

“Sarcastic rainbows, dirty balls, sexual no-nos. Heroin addicts, hippies, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Paris Hilton. Birthday cakes with shit on them.”

--Dynasty Handbag

Passing the Bar: Tandem

With its tasteful decor and reasonable prices, Tandem makes for a harbinger of doom even the most self-loathing of colonizers would be hard pressed to resist.

I Reviewed a Sex Toy

It was the most action I've gotten in a while. 

I'm Working on a New Thing

It's for Virtue and it's called The Switchery.

All Tomorrow's Parties

Day one

Day two

Day three

Special ATP bash compactor (now with anonymous Internet hater!)

New Interview Up in the Vice Blog

Drummer Oran Canfield has had quite the life. His dad is neither a dead jazz musician nor a crazy death metal dude, but someone even more intense: self-help guru and Chicken Soup for the Soul creator Jack Canfield. 

Bash Compactor: No Private Parts

“I’ll tell you what,” he said. “You have a presence. If you find out what we’re doing, find me, you get an interview.”