Bash Compactor: 2012 Girl Style Now

“Can we get it a little louder?” asked These Are Powers’ Pat Noecker. “All the Park Slope-ians are fast asleep, I’m sure we won’t wake them.” 

Flavor of the Week: Student Bodies

Warning: contains graphic description of some really bad sex I had.

Passing the Bar: Satellite Lounge

For those who take their quest to find the perfect watering hole dead seriously, “just a bar” is an understatement tantamount with “just the Great American Novel,” “just the zombie apocalypse” or “just true, eternal, burning, passionate love.You know, a bit of that sort of thing.Whatevs.”

Bash Compactor: Mad World

“I love Mad Men, and I love free alcohol. I’m drunk at noon every day, just like the people on that show.”

Bash Compactor: Citizen P

Matt and Kim managed to remain adorable even as they quarreled over whether or not Kim was to defecate into a plastic bag. 

All Points West Recap

Day two of the festival began for me in the form of a jacked fellow in a camo headband and possibly under the influence of PCP screaming "TOOL!" every five seconds on the train. "We're gonna see Tool! TOOL! Yeah baby! Woo!" "Indoor voices," I implored him. "I know it's exciting. We're all very excited." "TOOL!" he replied. 

I'm Broke-ass Stuart's Broke-ass of the Week

Answers to questions like, "I wonder what Jamie eats when she doesn't feel like cooking?", "does Jamie take a lot of cabs?" and more.

Are you a hipster?: Hipsters don’t exist. They’re mythical beasts parents tell their kids about at bedtime in an attempt to scare them into growing up normal.